This may encourage the younger generation of boys to grow up viewing this show of vulnerability as accepted behaviour, as well as a sign of strength rather than a weakness, as you display the courage to tackle the issue rather than ignoring it.
So maybe one thing that needs to change in society is for adult men to demonstrate that it’s OK to talk and express their negative feelings and emotions, as well as the good ones. The messages were more about being brave that 'men don’t cry'. However, growing up through my childhood, I don’t have many recollections of hearing adult males talk openly about negative feelings and emotions such as fear, sadness, and anxiety, whether in person or on television. I experienced this shouting and screaming as an accepted norm and copied it. As a young boy either watching a football match on the television or attending it live, the vast majority of men would show emotion. Part of the problem, I feel, comes from learnt behaviour during our youth. I just needed the guidance to be able to see it.Ĭlearly, with many men suffering in silence and experiencing feelings such as depression and anxiety, much more needs to be done for them to feel both encouraged and comfortable with opening up and taking that first step towards help. After taking that first step, I was then able to find the help and support I needed to find the light and realise that, whilst life can be tough, I had an abundance of good things in my life. Thankfully, after eventually finding the courage to break my silence and to admit that something was wrong, I was able to escape from the web and the clutches of the spider.
#DON T SUFFER IN SILENCE FREE#
In some ways it resembled being a fly stuck on a spider’s web no matter how hard I wriggled and fought, I couldn’t break free of the feelings of despair and hopelessness. As an adult, I know how it feels to sit in a very dark, lonely place feeling as if all hope is lost. In my youth, I experienced a deep personal loss as a result of male suicide. With approximately 14 men each day taking their life by suicide in the UK in 2018, something needs to change.
#DON T SUFFER IN SILENCE PROFESSIONAL#
40% of the men polled said it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm to compel them to take professional help.īelieving they can deal with it, not wishing to burden anyone, embarrassment, stigma, not wanting to appear weak, and having no one to talk to are all reasons given as to why men chose to suffer on their own and in silence. 77% of men polled had suffered from either anxiety, stress, or depression.
In the UK, 75% of all suicides are completed by men.įollowing international Men’s Day in 2015, the Priory commissioned a survey of adult males to uncover their attitudes towards their own mental health. Even with the slightest glimmer of hope you can change someone’s whole outlook.According to Movember, we lose 60 men to suicide each hour, every hour, across the world. Now, a year after I got help with my struggle, I try to help people step out with their problems and receive help, whether it’s professional or not. This is the first time I have told my story in depth following the events that unfolded last week, I feel every single one of my readers needs to know that they are not alone in this battle. They helped me realize that no, life doesn’t get better, but you can make it fun to fight. I sought refuge from a friend who didn’t make me feel worthless, who didn’t give me cliché answers to a serious problem. I asked myself, why haven’t I done it?Īfter six months of suffering in silence I had had enough. I thought about the about the people that went through with it, how they were not suffering anymore while I still was. Not that I wanted to do it, I just had this unhealthy obsession with it. The thought of suicide was always on my mind. “It gets better…” and “if you kill yourself, it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” It’s what I use to trap the pain that I’m suffering for reasons I don’t know.Īny time I would start to open up and ask for help from friends, I received the same cliché statements. She doesn’t know that I’m lying through my teeth.Īs I walk into school, I take a deep breath and put on my happy-go-lucky persona. On the ride to school, she asks me, “how did you sleep?” Wide awake, feeling hopeless, feeling emotionally drained, feeling like everyone and everything in the world is against me.Īs I sit there for the next four hours, I wait minute by minute for my mom to wake me up from my pretend-sleep, my mind slipping into another plane and turning against itself.įinally, she comes and I grudgingly get up. Even though I know I have to be at school in the slowly approaching morning, I sit there. I sit there alone in my room, the clock reads 3:29 a.m.
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